The following isn’t going necessarily to be a joyful read, but bear with me.
All good things in life must come to an end.Geoffrey Chaucer
I am not completely sure what I am supposed to say.
I am very grateful for the fact that I’ve been granted a formal education.
The amount of memories is uncontrollable. It’s like this constant stream of the past. Things that might very well happened or not at all. We can easily form false memories. But the saddest part of this is that they’re not coming back. I cannot hear, see, or feel the school environment anymore at least not in the same manner.
The people who I once was with were extraordinary. Everybody had different qualities and physical appearances. Even their names. It seems I am more fond of them than I thought. It just never felt that way.
It’s very hard to move on and change. First of all, before every single day you had to go to a place, with a routine in it. That probably has taken a good amount of your day. And then suddenly it goes back to having complete control of your day. Which essentially takes me back to my early childhood where my routine was pretty much set up by my lovely parents.
I thought I had more time in the moment. I thought I could do more.
I hope I did the best I could.
Many times were I bored in school, and most likely many times I was as equally excited and thrilled as well.
We had been to several trips together as a class. To a beautiful place like Croatia. Neighboring country Finland and it’s locations; Helsinki Espoo, Ahvenanmaa.
But it’s not really about the places, or the activities that we do. It’s about the people. Without the people, the places or the activities wouldn’t be anything at all. They wouldn’t be worth anything, simple as that.
You can imagine it yourself.
Being with people, having a conversation, sharing values, ideas, concepts.
Being real friends, who you can truly rely upon.
That’s what really matters.
So that brings me to the realization that deeper or fonder the connection between your significant other. The greater the pain will be after you get disbanded or broken up as a pair.
Although you cannot live life without committing fully. If you don’t do things you can’t fail but you can’t neither succeed. It’s better to experience in any way or form rather than not experiencing at all.
If I would have the opportunity to spend a another day in class with my former classmates, I would take the chance without any hesitation at all.
We really don’t think of the sentimental value of things in the moment, it’s now quite apparent that we always do in the future. It’s the small things in life that matter the most.
We must realize as well, our worth in the large context of things. We do matter more or less. We never truly matter at all. We must matter to something or somebody. We’re a part of the infinite puzzle.
I feel empty because it feels like I’vent achieved anything at all even though I know that I have achieved a great amount of things. But it’s hard to see that yourself.
Life is a roller coaster, because without the highs, there wouldn’t be the lows. Without the lows, there wouldn’t be any highs. That’s just how it is.
If something is not apparent now, it will become apparent in the future.
Patience is the key, to the things where no other keys are apparent at the time.
I must find a way to move on, a way to forget. But you never can truly forget. I need a routine, a duty or responsibility for anything. I just really need something worth while to do whether it is this or doing something else like helping other people.
Only time will tell as I wrote before.
I never thought I would love somebody, to have the ability to do so. I thought I didn’t care, but I did.
Maybe I’ve should have let loose more, not been so stubborn or closed up. But I’ve only been trying to protect myself. Have I ended up hurting myself more and others just by trying to protect myself?
Well by not saying anything you’re hurting yourself a little, but you could be hurt even more by actually saying something. So I’d say a little bit of both but I probably have managed to compensate for that.
I am forever grateful for my friends who have stayed with me all of this time. I hope I’ve returned ( given back ) them the same deal.
Sometimes it feels like the things that have happened don’t have happened, but they probably have and if you don’t believe it. It’s better to have a reality check with somebody you know who hopefully has shared the same expierence(s) with you.
Try to live in the present, and enjoy things while they last. Because you don’t know how long they will last. You must always try to stay focused.